I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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