I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
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