I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
