But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
