i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
