I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
