K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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