I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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