I am puke
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize