Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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