hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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