just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
