Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
