We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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