It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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