based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
