I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
