yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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