When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
