I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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