I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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