What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
