I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
