i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
