Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Randomize
