You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize