You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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