u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
