y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize