My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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