ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
