Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize