WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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