Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
