Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
We had to coat check the pizza.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
