If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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