just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
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