After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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