he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
