Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
