obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
