is your mom at the bar?
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
