I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
