all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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