She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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