I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize