Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Randomize
