My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
