Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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