Whod you bang
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
