just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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