Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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