Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
