He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
