he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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