I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
