Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
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