I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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