NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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