I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
