after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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