Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
