tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
