dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
