i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
