don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
